An Awakening of Spirit

"[I'm] seeing the simple beauty in life whether it's the way the light hits the silk tree in the front yard, the ripples in the lake, or the fallen leaves from the Japanese Maple on the deck."


I wrote this on my facebook, two years ago, when I found myself in a strange mix of turmoil, peace, and joy.  Delving into the specifics of this time would be unflattering to several people, as well as take away from the above-mentioned experience, however some explanation is necessary.

Before my current coven, I was a part of a different one.  It became toxic very quickly.  I found myself caught up in the middle of drama between fellow coven members.  It was polarizing and people chose sides.  Fights broke out and words got vicious, my own included.  I found friendships falling apart and myself needing to find a way to leave this group that at one time I was so excited to be a part of, but now needing to get out of as quickly as possible.  It was a very painful experience, but one I now know was necessary to get to where I am today.  

This was over the summer and I was home from school, on break.  I spent almost every day with friends that I had been great friends with since we were very young.  It was a welcome change from the previous summer, when I hadn't spent nearly enough time with them.  I had been ran off the road by a tractor trailer and totaled my car, the previous winter and did not have enough money to buy a new one.  That didn't seem to make a difference to one friend in particular, who would pick me up every day when she got out of work.  We had a blast being silly and laughing like we did when we were little.  Also at this time, I was engaged in a long distance relationship.  I was and still am deeply in love with my boyfriend.  Neither of us were thrilled by any stretch of the imagination to be so far away from each other, but at the same time, every time we saw each other was that much more special.  I was always so happy to see him.

During all of this, one morning I woke up and I saw everything differently.  It's hard to describe the magnitude of this experience and the sensations that I felt.  It really was more of a feeling than anything.  It was as if I had just gotten a new prescription for my glasses, everything looked as if it was lit with perfect studio lighting, and the colors had been cranked up.  Everything was sharply in focus, lit perfectly, and the colors were heavily saturated.  I felt a deep sense of peace.  I knew that there was something more out there and I felt connected to everything.  It was the most amazing feeling that I have ever had.  I really wish I could find the right words to truly to describe the full fledged feeling, but  there really are no words in the English language that fully encompass it.  I guess the best way to describe it is that my spirit had been sleeping my whole life and one day, it woke up.