There has been one place that I've always been hesitant about talking about my religion and that's work. My religion has no effect on my ability to do my job and it doesn't make a me a better or worse employee. I work hard regardless of my beliefs. I'm not naive and even though I know that religion is a protected class, I also know that if someone wants to fire me, they'll find a legally acceptable reason. I don't want any possible prejudices to cloud a performance review or possible promotion, so at work, I have always remained in the broom closet. I've played along with whatever the expectation is of me. I was raised in a Protestant family and my mother's side of the family is Roman Catholic, so I know just enough about the Bible and the religion to get by. If co-workers asked if I believe in Jesus Christ, I would say, "yes, I believe in Jesus Christ." And as far as I'm concerned, I never lied since they didn't ask what I believe about him. Do I believe he lived and brought a good message to many people? I most certainly do! Do I believe he is the messiah? I'm not going to rule it out, since I believe that all paths are true, it just happens to not be my truth. If they made a comment about my rosary beads, I would say they're at home. I have my great grandmother's rosary beads in my jewelry box. If religious discussions came up, I could participate. I would bring my dedicant homework to work and tell them it was for a meditation class I attend so that I can stay "zen." When they asked why I could never work on Monday nights, that was when I went to my meditation class. No one ever questioned me and if they did, they never voiced it.
Recently, I inadvertently outed myself at work. I requested Halloween off, which I know calls some things into question since I don't have children. I told my manager that I needed it off for religious reasons and that made her more willing to work with me, but she didn't ask any questions. Another co-worker was not pleased about me having it off as she has children. And don't get me wrong I understand her wanting to get out of work early to take them trick-or-treating, but since she didn't need a full day for that, there was no reason that I couldn't have it off and that's how my manager felt about it too. My co-worker saw the schedule and was not happy.
I got into work and she asked, "why do you need Halloween off? Are you going to a party?" I said, "no." So she asked, "are you going down to Connecticut to see your family?" Again I said, "no." I had hoped my one word answers would give her the hint that I didn't want to talk about it, but she kept pushing. She asked, "so why do you need it off?" So I said, "religious reasons." She said, "religious reasons? What sort of religious reasons?" So I told her, "I have to go to church." This is where I miscalculated, telling a truly good Catholic that I needed to go to church on a non-Christian holiday. I'm used to people who do not attend church regularly, so they take my surface answers as they are. That was not the case with this co-worker. She said, "church? What kind of church do you belong to that requires you to go on Halloween?" I knew I was in trouble at this point, so I said, "a spiritual one?" And then she asked the question I dread getting at work and have avoided for most of my working life. "Are you a witch? Do you practice witchcraft?" I didn't say anything. So then she said, "you do, don't you? So I said, "I don't really talk about it at work. I don't want people to judge me." And then something surprising happened, she said, "yeah I understand that. I would keep it on the down low too. People do judge. I'm not judging you, I believe in all that stuff, I go to psychics and get my cards read. Oh my god do you read tarot cards?" So I said, "no I'm not very good at cards. I'm learning to read stones (referring to my witches' runes). I'm just learning though, I'm not like a professional or anything." So then she asked if I would read for her. We talked a little more, and then we went about the work day.
I fully expected to come into work, the next day, to whispers about me being a witch. I prepared myself for the whispers and dirty looks that can accompany being outed. Surprisingly, that was not the case at all. There were no whispers... no looks... it was a totally normal day at work. My co-worker asked if I brought my runes with me and I had honestly forgotten them and offered to bring them the next day. She expressed concern that everyone would be around and that I wanted to keep my religion quiet. I was so surprised that she didn't tell anyone. I work in a bank and to be honest, bank tellers are the biggest gossips you will every meet. I thought waitresses were bad, when I was still waitressing, but I've come to the conclusion that bank tellers are FAR worse. The fact that she kept things quiet touched my heart. I've been able to continue to work without any trouble and enjoy my job.
Today, our manager must have been struggling with some personal issues and this co-worker must have mentioned that I read runes and asked me to bring them to work again. I was a little nervous when this came up, I won't lie. My co-worker assured me that she didn't say much beyond the runes. I don't know what was said, so I approached the situation carefully. There were no comments made and it seemed like my manager got some answers that she needed. My co-worker asked how my Halloween was and she seemed to take an interest in what I was saying. The point is, people can surprise you. There was no judgement, only appreciation. I don't know if this experience will bring me out of the broom closet entirely. I think I will always hold my religious beliefs close to my chest, but this whole experience has given me a renewed sense of hope.
