When I first started down this path, one of my very first teachers suggested I meditate. I explained that I have a hard time clearing my mind and I struggle every time I try. She suggested that instead of clearing my mind as is stereotypically suggested, perhaps I should try to focus on something and not think of mind as a space that needs to be cleared, but think of it like a flow of water. If the flow starts to wander, just redirect it. She said to use a candle and stare into the flame. She said to picture the Goddess, however she appears to me, next picture a white triangle of protection, finally picture the triangle and Goddess merging. Once the Goddess and triangle merge, ask for the names of my guardian angels and then be open to whatever comes to me.
I followed this advice and tried it. Three names came to me: Gladys... Diana... Michael. I heard the names and that was it. I didn't see them. I didn't talk to them. All I got was their names. Around this time, I had my first seizure and had a difficult time driving the 40 minutes to see her, so I never knew how to progress or what to do with them. I've walked around with these names for nine years, unsure of who they are or if I was just talking to myself. In my heart, I felt like the names had been given to me, but my head questioned it.
When I joined the coven and attended my first table tipping and seance, I did what I always do in unfamiliar experiences. I went in with no expectations whatsoever. There was no one that I was looking to make contact with, no particular questions that I wanted answered. I mostly sat back and watched. I saw spirits come through for others without asking, especially in the seance, but not for me. I found myself interested in the process of the seance and the messages that were coming through for others, but also a little disappointed that no one had come for me. I mentioned this to Cricketsong. She asked if there were any loved ones that I wanted to communicate with. And while I do have family members that have died, there is no one in particular that I want to speak with. The only one I find myself missing still is my great grandmother, but I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to call her out. Since there were no loved ones, she suggested asking for spirit guides and/or messages that they might have. She asked if I knew of any spirit guides. I related the above story to her and she suggested that I ask for these names at the next seance.
And so the next seance came. The first entity that came through was not related to anyone present at the seance, so I asked who Gladys, Michael, and Diana are. This entity immediately focused in on Michael. It repeated his name several times, but all it could say is, "he sits, he sees." I didn't know what this meant and felt confused and unsure of where to go from there. All of a sudden, I saw the medium transition to a different spirit, without asking to speak to someone else. Her assistant asked who we were speaking to. The entity seemed surprised by this question as he stated that we called him. Another member asked if he was Michael, which the entity confirmed. We were all shocked. My jaw dropped and my mind went blank. Because it was a deeply personal experience, I'm not going to go into exact details. Michael confirmed that he is my spirit guide, but he is not the arc-angel. He does not interfere, but offers guidance. All I have do is ask for help, and he will answer. He prefers to communicate in the non-physical, so it's easier to communicate during meditation, through dreams, right before sleep, rather than in my waking mundane life. He did not know Gladys, which was mildly disappointing since I have the sense that she might be my great grandmother, but he did know Diana. She is the Goddess, Diana, and more importantly my matron (I will address this in a separate post since this post is about Michael).
I have to admit Michael is not what I expected in a spirit guide. I was expecting nurturing, and while I don't want to say he isn't, he was very different from what I was expecting. He often answers questions with more questions and I found myself easily frustrated when I was already overwhelmed. I interpreted his responses as sarcastic. I kind felt like "leave to me to get the sarcastic spirit guide." When I'm overwhelmed, my brain tends to go blank and forget important details, so I wasn't able to recall much of the conversation during the seance. Thankfully we record them so that the medium can hear what was said. I asked to borrow the recording so that I could listen to the conversation again and transcribe it.
After listening to it again, I realize that sarcastic is not the accurate way to describe Michael. He is no nonsense and very matter of fact. He expects me to think and refuses to spoon feed me the answers, even when I feel like I need him to. He expects me to do the work to grow and progress on my path. I do like him and am glad he's my guide. I need to do some more research as to how spirit guides. I don't know if he chose me or I chose him, but I think we are a good fit and I understand why we are together. I have to admit, I do have some more questions. How long have we been together? Has he ever manifested on the physical plane? If so, have we shared lives? He gave me a signal to call him with, but I am not entirely sure how to use it. I have tried to consciously contact him, but I am not sure it has been successful. By successful, I mean a conversation and/or images that I remember. He says we have spoken and I have seen him, but I do not consciously have access to this. I'm hoping to get something soon.
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