Diana

As mentioned in a previous post, Michael told me that I have aligned myself with the Goddess, Diana.  He essentially told me that she is my matron.  I was surprised.  Never in a million years did I expect her to be a Goddess.  I assumed that Diana was just the name of another spirit guide.  I would have been less surprised to hear that Michael was the arc-angel.  I found this information to be very confusing.  My understanding has always been that your matron and patron will make themselves known to you.  You will have a strong reaction them, whether positive or negative.  I was told you would feel drawn to them.  I've never had any sort of reaction to Diana, instead I've always felt neutral toward her.

I've always felt drawn to Cerridwen.  She seemed right to me since I started exploring the Goddess.  I have to admit that lately, I've been starting feel like our time together has come to an end.  I was starting to feel drawn to Hestia, although I wasn't sure if that is because I've been working with fire or if she was making herself known to me.  Diana has never made herself known to me, except for the time I asked for the names of my "guardian angels."  She presented herself as guide, not a Goddess.  I keep looking back at different parts of my path trying to see if I missed a sign somewhere along the way, but I can't seem to find anything.  All I can find is that moment when she told me her name.

This kind of has me questioning how one really knows who your matron and patron are.  I am finding myself very confused and unsure.  This rocks everything I've ever been told or thought.  I had accepted that the Goddess has never really manifested in front of my eyes whether in my waking life or alternate states of conscious.  I had accepted that the God and Goddess presented themselves to me as visual effects through light, color, and the clarity with which I see the world.  But this?  I don't know exactly what to do with this information.  This starts to come down to, do I trust my spirit guide?  He is my guide and if we accept that negative messages cannot come from spirit, then I have to trust him.  He is there to serve as a positive force in my life and guide me down the path that is for my greatest good.  If I am going to call him a liar on one thing, then how can I trust him on anything else?  If I trust my guide, then I must trust that what he says is true.  Diana is my matron.

I started to do some research after speaking with Michael.  Nothing seemed to resonate with me, except the physical descriptions of how she has been depicted.  The wikipedia article describes her as having "a fair face like Aphrodite with a tall body, slim, big hips, and red hair... As a goddess of the moon... Diana wore a long robe, sometimes with a veil covering her head."  This is how I have always envisioned the Goddess.  I could never explain why this is what she looked like to me, but it is what I have always seen when envisioning her.

Coincidentally, Cricketsong had been doing research on Diana.  She printed it out and gave it to me.  From what she has found I have many similar characteristics to Diana.  So I guess my question is how do you really know if a goddess is your matron if she doesn't really make herself known?  And even if a Goddess does make herself known, how can you be sure that she is your matron?  Cerridwen made herself known to me (or at least I thought she did) around the same time that Diana presented herself as a guide.   Do you look at EVERY single Goddess' characteristics and see if you share those characteristics?  I honestly feel very lost and confused right now.  I've completed my research and I do agree that we do share similar characteristics, but outside of that?  I just don't know.