So many times whether in ritual or otherwise, I find myself asking for something that is lacking in my life. But about two months ago, I found myself standing in this temple in a busy part of Tokyo. I made my offering and began to pray. I found myself not feeling an ounce of lacking anywhere in my life. I could not think of a single thing that I needed. I found myself full of gratitude. I recognized all that I have received and was so grateful for each beautiful moment. All I could say was thank you for this moment and everything that led me to this point. In truth, this may very well have been the first time in my life that I have not felt as though my life is lacking in some way. I really love that sense of complete gratitude that I felt in that moment. This is something I struggle with on a regular basis. I want to always live in a moment of gratitude without a sense of lacking. I really struggle to stay in the space on a day to day basis though and it is something I am working toward. It's easy on the good days, but the bad days are really hard. I find it hard to stay in a positive place and maintain my attitude of gratitude. This is something I'm working toward. It's so very hard for me, but it's also very important. I know that to become the best version of myself, this is something I need to work toward. When I find something I am grateful for, I am jotting it down so that I can remember all of the good things in my life and not only focus on the bad.
I have to find that feeling again that I found at Sensoji Temple. It was such a beautiful feeling and I would like to get back to that. It was peaceful.
